A week has passed since I´ve been in Estonia and I must say I have missed the nature over here and the possibility to go on an endless walk without any interruptions. On that note I must say I miss large portions of the Asian trip, especially Thailand – though an easy winner if considering the alternatives 🙂
I´ve analyzed a lot during this week, not only myself, which I have.. also.. a lot, but the people around me. And I´ve come up with something I have felt my whole life, but only now I can articulate. Oh, there´s a picture, I know you all like pictures.
You can guess what I think Estonia is missing. Yes, you might be right, as I don´t know what you are thinking of, but the answer is – love. People are so distant, skeptical and over all mean – but I don´t feel that they are doing it on purpose. Some are, maybe, but if I was a doctor and had to prescribe something for Estonia, it would be unconditional love for 500 years.
After having felt truly loved for a long time in my life and to also receive it from complete strangers in Asia I think it is irreplaceable. I see people in Estonia trying to fill the void with anything but love and.. it ain´t working, but they don´t lose hope as they think the next thing will be the cure they have been waiting for for their entire life. I have hope things will change and I will try be the love in the strangers life as much as I feel I can be, that´ll be my effort.
How to go from such an important topic to.. for example a topic on trams? Answer: write some strange question and try to force the switch of topic and simply.. continue talking about how I did not like the new trams before, but I really like them now. Why? Well, they are warm. Yes, anything to do with warmth is my kind of things now – it´s really chilly everywhere and by that I do not mean spicy.
And to finish this post off, I will change the topic again. People have asked me about the Asian trip and how it was and.. well – I´ll simply tell the same thing to everyone. Go on an adventure, go with an amazing person like I had the chance to go or simply go alone – you´ll feel what is right for you and.. you will definitely grow. Will you love it every step of the way? No. But if you learn to see the potential of growth and love to see your heart expand in size you´d never imagine possible then you know that every bit of experience is the true recipe of a fulfilled life or.. a process of fulfilling a life.
I´d say I did enjoy every bit of my Asian trip – there definitely were moments that were tough, but I never felt that there was something I didn´t like. I could say I was lucky, as I have always been and continue being, but I also believe it´s a matter of perspective. There should be no expectations, but eventually there will be, but that´s the fun of it – always trying to get rid of those sticky things and seeing the world through a child’s eyes again.
Go on an adventure, doesn´t matter what kind, but.. go, change your perception and you´ll understand that the way you, right now, think life is and should be – it´s only one of a thousand billionth of possible ways to be. There are ways to live that are extremely fun and ways to live that are extremely nagging – in the end, you get to choose which one you like, but.. I mean, you are still restricted by your subconscious need to fulfill your desired experiences, but if you have good teamwork with yourself – after the 2nd step you´ll have more control over the path you choose to walk 🙂
I am thankful. And also I thank all of you for everything.
Oh, and unfortunately I dropped my phone and the screen completely broke. I´m even thankful for that as it delivered a very important message, that again, changed my perception. I wonder.. if a phone falls, does it always fall on the screen? Next time I should buy 2 phones and and just glue them together and.. just see the video, you´ll understand what I mean 🙂